The Path of Finding Yourself

What do I need right now is to discover myself. First, life just threw me away in this void of solitude and isolation, removing all my friends. Then, it was the war with myself, spending months and months trying to connect with people and screaming from inside SOMEONE JUST LOVE ME! Then I started to see this solitude from another angle, with another eyes and I started to meditate. Why is it that people come back to themselves in rough times? Maybe they secretly know that that place is the only one which has the ultimate truth.

I soon had to realize that I had taken the great path of discovering myself. I spoke less and I listened more, I chose people, I meditated, I talked to a friend that helped me in the past, that guided me. I started to watch movies about life changes and I started to seek myself. I learned that happiness is not outside, I realized that I do not belong to my parents, instead I should create myself as I want.

I started to love everything, to say every day, and I keep saying it, like a parrot-I love the trees, I love the clouds, I love this city, I love this music, I love to drive, I love to meditate, I love to read, I love my house, I love my family, I love running-. I started to study really intensively David Hawkins’s books about giving up and advancing on new levels of consciousness. I practiced transcendental meditation, where I just made an idea about death, I went to a yoga class, I went to meditate with a group, I started to thank everything.

I had down periods, in which everything seemed useless, in which I didn’t know what had value anymore, I had dark days, frustration, anger, a very deep sadness came in. And I wanted to escape. I wanted to run away, I wanted to do what my soul is telling me to do- which is finding myself. I was constantly asking myself- How do people get rid of this constant sadness and reach true, pure, happiness?

Now, I am still in this process and I am wondering where it would lead me. I feel like going in a meditation retreat. Is this the answer? Is the answer traveling? Going to India? What is the answer? How do I attract those certain people I want in my life?

How do I add more deeper meaning in my life? When will I meet all the life’s treasures, that make you feel like you have a fire inside, that make you feel like dancing, that make you feel alive?

I am in this quest searching for myself and I don’t know where the answer lays. I am sure that from every experience I had, my mind and soul learns something, and, eventually, it will lead to reaching my true self.

Am I the only one looking for my true Self on this planet? Am I the only one looking for creativity, genuinely happiness, pureness, excitement of the soul?